Wednesday, February 11, 2026

"Not right, not left, I'm the MIDDLE FINGER" - Interview with XUnconqueredX


Had the opportunity to sit down with the boys in XUnconqueredX last night. I asked them about their hiatus, their direction moving forward, why it was important for the band to be Straightedge, new music, tours, and who they sight as influences and who are those that shaped their hardcore reality and history. Here is that story......

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In October 2025, XUnconqueredX came off of a 15 year hiatus to play a show at the Empire, @620 Ryland (Those familiar with Reno SxE lore will recognize this joint as the original Absolute Tattoo and prominently featured in the Nat Geo Straightedge doc ๐Ÿ˜ˆ). When I asked them why NOW, the answers were many. 

"Yeah, everybody's being an adult. Everyone wanted to be an adult, right? The overrated adult is where you figure out where they are. So we all thrust ourselves into careers", Jason told me. "Kids were coming. I was, I got married. Glenn got married, so we were all doing the adult life, right?"

The consensus seemed to be that everyone was just trying to be an adult, and the band was kind of pushed to the side. 

I asked if 2025 was basically a better time to be a band, and they all agreed that the ease of recording, collaboration and the new band members made it the right time to come back. 

As I went around the room, the new band members introduced themselves and gave the back story to their first introduction to XUnconqueredX as a band, and how they ended up being part of this current iteration.

Jake Seelye, the new drummer for the band, said this, "Yep. I only saw Unconquered once. That was at the 2010 reunion show (with SLC fam XBIDX and Sworn Vengeance)". Jake goes on to tell a funny fucking story about his first meet with Jason and Glenn from XUnconqueredX, "Yeah. Hearing the stories with Jason and then, seeing a lot more of the OGs that, you know, you hear everything about that brought you into hardcore is those kind of like an eye opening show. And then shaking his hand for the 1st time (Pointing to Glenn Lemon) was like, like covered my whole hand. His big old ham hocks. He made my friend at the time shit his pants at one point, but I was not aware of it. Fucking awesome". 

Asa Barton, Bassist, was pretty straightforward about his introduction and entry into the lineup, "I got offered the opportunity to play in this band that I grew up seeing, you know, 16 years old at the place we lovingly called sock 'em up (ed note: Hahahahahahahahahahahha, IYKYK!!!)" He goes on to say, PROUDLY, "And then growing up, you know, and then you come into the straightedge scene, and those are all the heroes, that you're kind of looking up to, especially when you're, you know, 18, 19 years old. And, yeah, man, just being able to to share in this and participate in something that I grew up on and kind of saw as, like, the pinnacle of Reno Straight Edge, and now now we're here"

Colin Ferriett, Rhythm Guitar, was very rational when asked about his first time hearing the name XUnconqueredX, "I actually never saw Unconquered in their day. I heard all these rumors of like, you want to know who the real scary stranger guys are? And then they're like, talk about The Program and everything. They're like, watch out for those guys. Fuck. You say one wrong thing. You're done for it. And like, I remember growing up hearing those rumors. That's awesome. curious, but never made it to a show (ED NOTE: ALLEGEDLY, hahahahahhahaha). 

Colin (xconlinuoutx), about his inclusion into XUnconqueredX, " I was getting back into music and I was actually messaging people, trying to find straight edge kids to put a straight edge band together. And, uh, Asa messages me and he's like, hey, you want to be in a straight age band? I was like, actually yeah, sure. And then he sends me a bunch of songs, and he's like, welcome to XUnconqueredX. I was like, oh, shit. okay. You're like, that band. Like that fucking band, man. They're like, all right. Fucking awesome. Yeah, and he's like, we got a show in a month. So no pressure".

Cliff, "All right, we already know who you are, though. Yeah. We don't we don't really need this. Go into too much, do we? I want you to tell all the new fans what you want them to know. 

Jason Glines, Lead Singer and founder of XUnconqueredX. "But I'm really not as scary as people maybe. 

Jake, "Still the godfather?"

Jason, "I love... I love talking to everybody" ED NOTE: I had a squirrel moment and went on a tangent about how he talks and interacts with everyone at Hard Times Muay Thai, our Muay Thai gym, hahahaha. 

Glenn Lemon, Lead Guitar, told me about his origin story. "Yeah, an old straight edge guy, I guess".

Cliff, "You've written every fucking awesome, awesome hardcore song ever that's been. 

Glenn. "I've wrote it. I wrote a lot of riffs in my name. For who? You played for... Probably forgot a lot more than I've written now, so... Discipline, new blood. Unconquered. We've been in a probably a little XForever TrueX Yes, I played. Oh, yeah, that's right. When I was on leave in the army, I came all the songs in like 2 days and made a shot and I'm sure it was terrible, but... That still wasn't bad at all, actually".

The recurring theme with XUnconqueredX and all the other bands mentioned, was that they are all Straightedge bands. All members are Straightedge; that remains important for XUnconqueredX. 

Jason, talking about that importance, "Because I'm still straight edge. Everybody here, still straight edge, and that's the most important thing, maybe about the band" 

Glenn, "It started off straight, and people that held their edge are still edge" 

Jason, "And my thing is, like, you know, other people disagree with me, and this may be weird for people, but for me, straight edge is for eternity. There's no 2nd chance because there's no take back. Like, and that's nothing against all those other people. You know, they paved the way and it was great, but for me, it saved my life, and I'm gonna do my best to be a great example for my kids, 1st and foremost, because I did grow up in a shithole in the government. Like, it was horrible. You know, and I don't want my kids exposed to that shit"

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"Oh. Hey. No. Come, take a seat. Come on in", says Jason as Lola stuck her head in the door. 

"Can I leave the dogs in the car? I just stopped and was sitting around. I wanted to see if I could sneak a peek of whatever you guys were practicing", Lola asked. 

"Oh, no, now we're doing an interview", Jason said. 

Lola Palma, artist at Midtown tattoo is the partner of Colin. She was stopping by to check out a practice, and decided to stay and be a part of the interview. Her dogs, Foxy and Friday, a yellow lab and a border collie mix, were having a good time waiting out in the car, just being dogs. 

"Just, like, a quick question to a newcomer, who hadn't seen us in the past or no, I don't know if you know any of our history or that shit, but how was it seeing that show and then you've seen another one since? So how was it for you to see us play not this wonderful specimen here (ED: The handsome and jacked Colin, ๐Ÿ˜‚), but us as a band?, inquired Jason. 

Lola was straightforward and thoughtful in her response, "Well, I am truly an anonymous newcomer to the hardcore scene. Uh, so, as such, my experience, the 1st show was in this really beautiful (ED: The legendary 620 Ryland, formerly Absolute Tattoo, hahaha) venue that's very small and intimate. And so I feel like all the people that were here that night were, like, really stoked and very brought a lot of energy to the room, and you could really feel it, and you could hear it also; there was a lot of excitement from both parts of the equation from the audience. Absolutely, there was a lot of participation, I did feel like everybody was very, family vibe-ish. Like everybody just knows everybody and also I could feel the same from the band as well from you guys. You guys did wonderfully. I could, honestly, if I didn't know, any better, I would have thought that you guys had never stopped. It was very... Yeah, there was a lot of, like, chemistry a lot, really good energy going on. And yeah, it was just, it was a really cool experience to see everybody, really come together and you guys play off of, one another, the audience, the band. Then by the time when I got to see you guys open for Madball, it was, just even more so, like, it was like a bigger, bigger, stage, and then it was just really cool to see everybody in the crowd really react and respond to, Madball being such, you know, like an old established band as well. So I think it was a really great combo. I'm really stoked to hear what else you guys have up your sleeve".

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Lyrically, Unconquered has been devoid of politics, but very much stick to the straightedge vibe that they are known for. A few new songs are already coming out and I wanted to know what would change lyrically, or if anything would change at all. Here's Jason comments regarding the lyrical and song writing structure listeners can expect to hear moving forward.

Jason, "We tune to C now. Because we want it to be heavier, obviously. We want to bring more groove to it. Like, I want more dance parts"

Cliff, "Like more straightforward hardcore?"

Jason, "But still heavy, though. Like, you know, breakdowns, big sing-alongs, stuff like that. More crowd participation, you know? And we're, we're not gonna have long drawn out songs, Before, I had a lot of shit to say. Not that I don't have a lot of shit to say now, but I'm gonna have the crowd participate and they can say, well, sing with us. But at the same time, we're still keeping it very much in our style and concrete. 

Cliff, "Yeah, that's exactly what it was. It's very, like, it's very, like, Clevo influenced is what it sounded like"

Jason, "So we grew up with 7 seconds, but they were very positive. And we've known him forever, but we're not like our childhood's fucking... It's not, that's not how I, I can't be positive to sing about positivity - I am a broken ass hole, you know, and all the fucking childhood memories that come with that shit, um, that's not in me to be like that. So I'm singing from my heart. my experience, things I've gone through, things that people can relate to. Yeah. And so you'll see more of that and it's going to have the straight edge message as well because that is a huge thing for me".

Cliff "So is everybody else involved in the lyric writing?"

Jason was levelheaded in his response, "I'm down to hear what people will have to say and what we're talking about how to incorporate that. I'm totally down for that. But like I said, it's not we're not like a political band by any means. But we are very anti-racist; anti- fucking Nazi scumbags, you know?"

Cliff, "Like, I mean, dude, I mean, like, Like, if you're honestly in a hardcore brand and you're not an anti-racist, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? Like, that's like bare bones".

Jason, "How many times have we... I mean, dude, how many times have we fucking fought and stomped out Nazis, like, trying to come (to shows)? Fucking thousands, dude. It's real, pulling guns on me and fucking squeezing the trigger to go click and be looking at him going, oh, you just fucked up. Yeah. That's cute. 

Entire room, "Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly" ED: ALLEGEDLY. 

Jason, "Oh, yeah, shit like that. They used to think that they could come out in the open and get away with that shit. And we fucking put it in all that. We definitely put it into that stuff. Yeah. And I don't want to see it go back to that. We're trying to do our best to keep that going and we want that positive moment. We may be rough and tumble and tough and all that shit. Like people may perceive us as that, but dude, I'll talk to you about it. I'm open. I talk to anyone. I have fun".

The convo moved to the future record release plans. Jason was pretty forthcoming in giving up the tea. 

Jason, "trying to get everything mixed and mastered of our old stuff. re-release a bunch of stuff on Knives Out Records from France. We were dragging our ass forever because we're trying to get everything done and getting it out. And getting it right. Yes, right. We're going to get it out to him. There's Imprint Records from Salt Lake that want to do a vinyl of The Wall of Time album. So we're gonna work on that and that to him, and then Holy Mountain printing is gonna be doing another release probably on the new record. If we ever get it freaking done. So we're pushing for that, and then, but my thing is, you know, I'm not going to be tied to one label. Right. Everyone's put out our shit, man. lets put it out. I really want to do like cool packaging and like a bunch of Like we've never put out a 12 inch vinyl. has been on CDs, so I'd love to do cool... So, a wild variety of... vinyl colors. Just limited colors, like there's so much. It's not about being a rock star, trying to sell a million records or get a 1000000 people on Spotify. You know, it's just about having fun and doing what we all love to do, which is play music, right? Get to travel every once in a while. I don't know about a huge tour because again, like, there's those commitments that we have, right? So, the one-off things where we can fly out and do a fest. It would be great to be able to take a vacation, go to a week and play a fest in Europe or something. Okay, or go, I would love to Japan, the 5 days in Japan that you can do, you know, Blood X Fest and all that stuff that they do.".

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Lola mentioned during her impromptu interview how hardcore seemed like a family. I think this really encapsulates the hardcore experience. You can travel anywhere and instantly relate to someone on a deep level, just by virtue of them being part of a hardcore scene. Band, for years, have spoken about the family aspect of hardcore, and I surely subscribe to that line of thinking; everything I have now that is fulfilling is because of the hardcore scene. It a family. 

To end the night, I asked each member to shout out their people who help them be, and stay successful, in the realm of hardcore and members of that hardcore family that are missing some shine. 

Asa: "Um, I gotta say that, like, some of my brothers in Brick by Brick and Full Blown Chaos have kind of kept me, like, kept pushing me, like, always telling me, no, no, no, keep doing something, keep doing something, keep doing something, you know? Kept pushing us with, when we were doing XDevotionX, to keep, you know, hey, keep doing it, don't give up on that. Keep pushing. Um, so those guys have really always been there for us. Guys, on the west coast, the guy's in Powerhouse, have always been a huge help. OBHC, yeah. Yeah. All of our family, down in LA, have always been encouraging us and kind of inviting us out to stuff. to play and do things that are, you know, more than just like, you know, some basement shows and stuff. Um, But yeah, there's just, you know, all these young bands that are coming out right now are like a major motivation. Just because it's keeping up with all of that. Yeah. And just their energy and everything that they're doing nowadays, it's like so crazy, you know, like you've mentioned, like, fans like Haywire, who just like nonstop. double doing double days and stuff like that. And just, you know, and seeing bands just not not give in and just fucking push. It's just, you know, and despite everything that could be put in their way, they fucking just keep rolling. And it's just like, the spirit's still there. It's kind of hard because I get jealous. I can't be 20 years old. And yeah, it can't be 20 years ago and say, fuck this job. I didn't get that. And I always got to give a shout out to my to my boy, Lord Ezec. The old Lord, because I did a pretty good tour with Skarhead, and that was just a blast. That whole fucking, that whole thing was just... Sweet".

Jake: " I mean, I've been in a band with Asa since, fuck. 2010, right? It was like 2014, 2013. Yeah. that, like, he came on and then kind of went through some waves and then we did XDevotionX for fucking, I think 10 years. And so that was like a consistent, you know, like, that at that time we had kind of like a little wave where it was just like, yeah, we need to do this. Hey, we got this, we got this. So he's been kind of a pretty big push. Obviously, the Reno fan, you know, boys, and then, you know, being with Black and Blue boys now and going back, that was a huge, that really, like, was like the fun to try to expand my horizons of music because, yeah, sure. I'm into hardcore, but I wasn't into hardcore. You know, like, I wanted just the heavy stuff. Well, there's all kinds of hardcore. So when I finally went back east and started meeting all the real hardcores, and listening to actual hardcore bands, it was kind of like, damn, right? more to it. I saw Sick of it All, seeing Agnostic Front, all of a sudden, like, seeing these guys... And listening to all those guys and then coming back and then we meet with the guitar player, like, hey, I just listened to this one. was try to like speed it up a little bit. I never wanted to do that shit. Like, my, my... Oh, it was all Reno. I get it. It was all real. throwing certain things at me. Motherfucker, I can't play a certain... Why are you pushing, bitch? Fuck, fuck. You can't fucking play it. And now I'm just like, hey, we can throw a circle pit here. Hey, we can probably throw a circle pit here. So, you know, East Coast, you know, like definitely played a huge part traveling over there. And then, yeah, that's about it, you know. My my actual brothers, my 2 big brothers, you know, he was a musician, and then they kind of like didn't understand where I was coming from. My parents sure as hell didn't, so my brothers kind of, like, finally understood what I was involved in and everything. They're kind of like, you should do that. And they came to both times. Both shows that XUnconqueredX played so far".

Colin: "I mean, a big foundational thing for me was a little show house. The girl who kind of ran that place, her name was Susie. She was one of my best friends in the world. Um, I credit her for dragging me out to shows all over the West Coast. And then, honestly, just every kid that goes to a show or books a show or, you know, uh, sets up a DIY venue and um, makes this whole thing happen, you know? Shout out to fucking the Empire, right? 7462 booking. I guess I'll shout out my sponsors then. Yeah, whatever. I'm still waiting on that video. The Fix is the, like, premier punk rock vegan restaurant. They employ me at times and they feed me all the time. Um, I guess uh, we'll go with the Midtown tattoo. Shout out to Good Boy Tattoo as well. As well as Tony Medellin because he... The godfather. Tattoo. Oh, he did my 1st tattoo. Ink Master. He pestered me to come out to one of his shows, even though I was a little scared punk rock kid. Did not like hardcore kids at that time. Yeah, and then I stood in the back all scared and everybody was really nice to me. I was like, oh, this is so much cooler than punk rock. It is cool than party Rogers. I just remember being like, we were talking, I was like, I'm gonna be like a punk rocker forever, and you're like, I'm gonna be fucking straight edged (ED: talking about Jake)".

Glenn: "You know, the number one thing, you know, for me, it's always been, you know, family support. like my wife. Yeah. She supports me every... Valerie, my wife, Valerie. In every bird brain thing I've ever done. She has the ultra support. Oh, like on, you know, what I did for profession, outside of music. Yeah, right, right. into everything and putting up with, you know, just the weird stuff I do. You know, and like, you know, I lost my parents a couple years ago, but they they they were a big part in the 90s because, you know, I had a rough childhood growing up. And my dad, you know, he was always pretty cool in there, but like when we actually were old enough to, you know, get out and go on the road, you know, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, got the van for us. They've got a van for us. But nevertheless, my parents were so... Like I said, he really, like you said, he was happy that it was, you know, doing that stuff. My mom was too. And, you know, even though, you know, the breakdown of, you know, everything that happened younger. Yeah, yeah. It kind of put me there and I guess it gave me a little bit of use as I got older to, you know, I guess, forgive them for a lot of the craft that happened when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. But, um, yeah, that was that was a big one. And, you know, so many influences, you know, music and just the way I carry myself throughout the years of hardcore, you know, I've had so many really cool people. I mean, it's almost too many to really say. you know, then other guys, you know, that in the hardcore scene that I always thought were really cool, Kelly. Compound days. He's one of the guys left. Shout out to Kelly Dow for a big influence in, you know, our last fucking EP. Yeah, right, he helped write the program and came through in the clutch, I mean, we went to Europe, you know? So, like, that was a big deal. Big Bob, Bob, Bob, Big deal. I would say he was a big influence in there. Bobby Hilberg? Yeah. Um, I... Like, well, he's gone now, but big Mike Schmidt. Big Mike Schmidt, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was, like you said, all right, you know the Schmidt, fucking that was our original drummer".

Jason: "Yeah, there's a lot there. I mean, in the local sand, just... Well, I'll move on to Jason. I'd be kind of anybody else. It's all good, yeah. It's all good. Be here for a week. A lot of the scenes throughout America. I mean, like in Europe, Canada, Mexico, but everywhere, like. I mean, when we were out who were nonstop grinding, like people were so inviting. And so, there's like family in every town, right? Every everywhere you play, so shout out to all those people in the past that have helped us out, supply to place for us to stay, put on a show. God, some of the great Salt Lake place. Yeah, Salt Lake City (ED: personal shout out to Sean and Clear). I saw see. It's like a... the I-80 Alliance, right? Right, true. That's like from Sacramento. SF to sack, to Reno, the salt. There's one person I got her, you know, maybe that was probably a big influence of everything from back from the early Gilmans. Jose Galvan. Yep, Jose Galvan, Jose. Max was Spazz. And then, you know, Mike Ward for better or for worse, that crazy fuck. (ED: Fuck Mike Ward, ahahahahahahahah). That dude would load us out in a fucking Grand Torino and Jack Shangle, our old guitar player that I ended up fucking bickering and fighting with and kicking him out of the band, but hey, shout out to him. I haven't seen him fucking forever. Yeah, none of us. Yeah, he got me in the movies. He had that cheap thrills theater on public access. I think Mike Ward is an influence probably in, like, he's a huge influence in... He took us into so many bands, but not only that, like his influence in Reno. I mean, he was one of the original Skeeno dudes who like, I mean, he's back in the days of when Minor Threat was coming here when Positive Force Records was starting to pop off with 7 Seconds. He had the Connecticut connection. Like, he would go out during the summer, fucking Youth of Today and all those dudes, like, he's hanging out with all them. He bring all that music back. Then here we are like, fuck, man. And he was, yeah, you cleaned it up, introduced us into like just massive, like, how do we find records? How do we find these bands? And then he fucking knows them also. So then we meet them all. I mean, they're playing this one's playing with Judge. I mean, who can say that shit? Yeah. Not a lot of people on the West Coast can say that, you know? From back then. Now they tour a lot more. Back then, not a lot of people. I mean, I think they played 2 or 3 dates on that tour out here. So meeting them and growing up, those were huge influences for me. Youth of Today, Uniform Choice. Bold. Like, these are all been No For an Answer was a huge one for me. The story you got with him fucking kills me (ED: see post regarding Dan O on my IG page, hahah). I love it. Dan O'Mahony. Shout out to Dan O'Mahony. nd shout out to like Dwight and Integrity. I mean, that dude's always been supportive of us. Yeah, yeah. Dan Gump, Life Sentence Records, Carl and  fucking Ian. Everybody in Earth Crisis. Scott, everybody. I mean, those dudes have been through thick and thin. They're always, they're, like, always championing them. Yeah, they are. Because we've been talking about this shit for years. Like, they're always telling us, like, when do you even get back together? You guys need to get back together. Danny, put out the record, get back to you, like, all this shit. They're always super motivational, then to see them, those are dudes my age. Glenn's age still doing it. Still good, full time. So they're huge motivations for us, Jamey from Hatebreed. Jamie had done so much for our band back then, like booking shows all over him. Now I mean, great success, like, fuck, man. They're trying... All those dudes. And they're nothing but nice and respectful to us every time. I took my son to show down in Vegas, and it was, like, it was Hatebreed, and it was Bleeding Through, um, Comeback Kid, which shout out to Comeback Kid. That's my son's favorite band. Oh, he left them. So, and I love them. They're fucking amazing. They're amazing. So shout out to all those dudes, like, and just people that are always even, it's cool because in the hardcore scene, you may not have seen somebody for five, 10, 15 years. You can pick up right where you left off. which is awesome. Just shout out, just shout out to Frank (Novinec 3-Gun) and Jesus Brown. He's like that. Him and I, like, have this eternal connection. Like he left to go to Texas, become a nurse, chase, all that. And then it's like he comes back and he was start up right where we left off. And now he's got a son and shout out to Sonny and my kid, Gage, because that was my thing too. Like, the thing for me in the heart of hearts is like, man, I wish my kid could see me play. So that was like... Like my biggest motivation was like being able to play for them before I die. like I'm like, dude, I'm fucking, you know, getting old. I'll be 52. And if we don't play now, what's the chances of us doing it? you know? So it was like... Well, it just... Part of it's harder to shoot. It gets most likely, yeah. You gotta do it. And these views, I mean, these fucking dudes just like, I give these guys all the credit in the world for fucking help us. Like, do what we want to do and play what we want to play, you know? So shout out to these guys. Shout out to Glenn. I mean, this asshole, him and I have been fucking up this shit for fucking ever. So, like, you're fucking old, like, old ladies. Yeah, exactly. We're an old married couple. I mean, we've been battling back and forth wanting to play music. I mean, since we're, like, 10. Yeah. You know, it was back in the days of fucking Sacrilege, DRI, fucking Black flag. Like, seeing all that shit live and thinking back, like, holy fuck, man, we saw all that shit. And now we're bringing it forward in what we want to do and how we want to present it, you know? So that's a huge thing for me is like playing music, like getting the message out there. You know, so I'm excited. I'm super pumped about playing, like, let's go. I love it. It's fucking God. show's coming up. Who do we got? March 13th, Big Boy Real Empire? Yeah. Where here in 620 Ryland. 620 right. And then 419 with He is Legend. hout out to you, sir. Yeah. Because you've been championing us this round for fucking, like, end the scene and showing up. The real Reno Hardcore. That's the shit, man. Like you're motivated as much as we are to like get this shit rolling."

Glenn: "Back when we were working at Straw Hat Pizza together."

Cliff: "I mean, dude, yeah, yeah. We all work, we work, fuck. I forgot. We all worked back for fucking dad. My fucking dad... "

Glenn: "Jerry was the man. Dude, dude? the best hair of all time."

Cliff: "I'm always going to have hair. Great flat top dude. He's a fucking pimp. He was the mayor. He was the man. So fucking pimp, dude. Dude, it's important to me. Like, I don't, Like, if I didn't have hardcore man, I, I, if I'd have hardcore, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have what I have now. Like, I wouldn't be at... Hard Times Muay Thai with you guys and Brennan. Yeah, sure. There's a hard times fucking. That's our. Hard time's one time. It is like I, I've been going there, I wouldn't have met them. I would not have met them and it's awesome to have everybody there that, you know, all of my old friends are there. And just like the whole scene, like the whole everything I have now is because of hardcore. But everything I have. I would not have, I wouldn't have anything that I have now that's good in my life if, if it was a for Hardcore, you know what I mean?"

Glenn: "I'll tell you what, it's crazy. Like, hardcore shapes your life in a way that is so different than any other aspect of it. Absolutely. I always look at like hardcore shape to me and then other things in my life will continue to shape to it."

Thanks to the boys in XUnconqueredX for letting me interview them on a school night. 

See everyone March 13th,W/Big Boy at 620 Ryland!


Sunday, May 31, 2015

The Paradigm

She really is everything to me. Her familiar smell. The feel of her skin against the palm of my hand. The way her hip bones feel when I run my hand along her DANGEROUS curves. Her almond eyes. Her sparkly, white smile. Her ability to snap witty comments about like a whip. Her ability to rebuild me, brick-by-brick.

She has the ability to break me. But that is part of the allure; to be completely free with someone that you are willing let go of your preconceived notions of how a person should infiltrate your life. She allows me to be free. When I walk next to her, I know that my hopes, dreams, aspirations and goals are all hers, as well.

She comes in contact with people and they have a sense about her; they know she is intense and powerful and a force. They also know that she is soft and malleable. She is vulnerable; but maintains a sense of self. She is beautiful, beautiful to the core. Her mind makes me quiver in anticipation of the next conversation. Her heart makes me wonder what kind of thoughtful and selfless act will come next. Her smile allows me to lose myself when I look at her; its vibrant and earth-moving. Her expressiveness allows me to be confident in our connection. Her work ethic dwarfs my daily routine.

The Paradigm says that this couldn't happen; but it did. I would go through every single second of hardship, struggle and pain to be right here with her, again. Thank you for you.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Incentive, entitilement, sense.

The holiday season, for me, has traditionally, at least for the last ten or so years, has been a time when mostly difficult times occur for me. Save a few great years with some great people, my recent holiday past has been just a pile of hot steaming shit. Three of the last five years has marked a breakup with someone who, I at least, thought was special; top it off with MAJOR financial difficulty and the holidays are anything BUT a time to reflect and be happy with life.

From the outside looking in, you should say that my life, in particular, it wholly contingent on the choices I have made. If you said this, I would agree with you, without a doubt. My life, as it is, has been because of the choices I've made. With all of that said, my sense of entitlement will sometime take over my sense of incentive, and into the doldrums I go. Everyone, at their core, deserves to have everything they want; life is about living, not just being alive. We all deserve to have what our heart desires and we also owe it to ourselves to understand what is truly important to us. The universe though, knows best and most of the time, it will throw you into a tailspin and make us re-evaluate what it is we are doing. Entitlement, is, at its core, in direct conflict with motivation and hard work. Entitlement will make you think that no matter what, the choices you make should have no bearing on the achievements that you deserve. It will make you believe that somehow, you should have already put in the work and any other work you do toward your goals would be for naught. As we all know, this is untrue, because as the old Karate maxim says, "A glass of hot water will become cold if hot water is not continually added".

When I think of incentive, I think of hard work as being the cornerstone of any incentive based plan. I think that life, in general, is an incentive based plan. The harder you work, the better you treat your fellow man and the more appreciative you are of the things that you have achieved, the more you will reap. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work out for everyone, at least not right away. I know I have felt that way before and I also know that no matter what, the expectation of what I believe I deserve will always set me back.

When you pit incentive vs. entitlement, you have two inverse terms; they are exact opposites and will repel each other. This statement speaks to the theme of this blog entry because although I have lost much around the holidays and there could never be worse timing, there has to be a message. There must be. I'm starting to believe that I am being pushed to achieve what I want, exactly on my own time. To do my thing and not be swayed by popular opinion and also to not worry about how my actions will affect others; the decisions I make will not always be popular. I also believe that now, more than ever, my choices need to be correct in regards to my future; I have to be this way, as living day to day has done nothing for me except to pass the time. I also understand that the choices I make and the mistakes I make really need to be considered as any small mistake could cause huge ripple in my life that could cost me dearly in the future. As has already been proven, the mistakes I make rear their ugly head to really teach me a lesson. A lesson, until now, that Ive never understood.

In the big picture, I need to have enough sense to sense when entitlement is taking over and when incentive needs to be directly in my cross hairs. Lets hope that is always, from here on out in this life. 


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Foundations...

Precedent, as defined by Merrian-Webster....

2prec·e·dent

noun \หˆpre-sษ™-dษ™nt\
: a similar action or event that happened at an earlier time
: something done or said that can be used as an example or rule to be followed in the future
: the usual or traditional way of doing something

Full Definition of PRECEDENT

1
:  an earlier occurrence of something similar
2
a :  something done or said that may serve as an example or rule to authorize or justify a subsequent act of the same or an analogous kind precedent
>
b :  the convention established by such a precedent or by long practice
3
:  a person or thing that serves as a model 
 
In this context, we use it as a noun. Even further, we use it as a way to describe why an action taken at a previous juncture was used to serve as an example to be used in the future. In this way, we see that anything that has been set as a precedent in a relationship, be it business, personal, or romantic, can be used to steer clear of, or to expect another action taken in a similar manner. 

Without being too cryptic, take this situation as an example: person asks other person to be at a job interview @ 9am. Interviewee can't make it to said interview because of another emergency or commitment, but yet made the commitment to the interviewer to be on time. Interviewer decides that although interviewee is fully qualified, this could be SETTING A PRECEDENT and decides to not reschedule. Interviewee then feels a sense of betrayal because they feel that this was something out of their control. Unfortunately, the interviewee does not see the forest for the trees, because this PRECEDENT has been set a while ago due to some choice or a path chosen incorrectly. 

Now in the matter of our lives, the foundation we set with people, businesses or partners all hinge on the precedents we set with them. This is how history works; the adage is "if we do not take history in to consideration, we are doomed to repeat it". 


Friday, June 06, 2014

The needy's need to be needy

Instant gratification; we are all guilty of it, well, at least I am. Ha. Anyway, this is possibly, in my opinion, the number one killer of goals or satisfaction.

Throughout my time on this earth, I have learned that if anything is worth having, its worth working hard for. With that said, let it be known that although I consider myself a hard worker, I can always do better to achieve my goals and aspirations. Moving on, I find it hard to swallow when I see someone putting long term goals aside or ideals for instant gratification. The feeling of desire is a STRONG one.... but as ADULT humans, we should be able to sort through our feelings and come to a conclusion that should suit out goals and meet our desired short term needs.

A person told me some years ago, after telling me that I placed a close second to someone in an interview, that I should continue to work hard to achieve my dreams, as the hard work I do now, WILL absolutely pay off. I am paraphrasing, but that's the gist of what was told to me. I try to live by this statement and use it everyday to re-evaluate myself. I know what I want and I know what I need to do to get it. I also know that I need to constantly evaluate what I am doing to reach those goals. I also know that I need to tweak things and check myself to stay on track. I believe that this applies to all things in life - business, personal relationships, friendships and matters of the heart. I also understand that whatever it is you want will be EXACTLY what you will reap. 

I constantly ask myself, what is it that you want? Is it the long-term, satisfying, full feeling of waiting and working hard for something you really want, or is to be needy. Need of the instant gratification that has you constantly wanting more.

Ultimately, its the needy's need to be needy that will win out. We have a choice.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Behind the past

I'm an idiot - I hold on to the past. I constantly pine over days gone by, what I could've done better or am trying to atone for something I may have not completely followed through on. This could mean a relationship, work or anything personally that just may have not been fulfilling.

Catharsis comes from many different sources and I've used the past as a way to motivate me to achieve the things I thought I wanted in the past. For example, I put a screen shot of myself in the best shape I've been in as my computer background. I thought, "I need to look like that again". About a week later, my roommate sees it and says wow, you look way different. Of course, I took it to heart and told myself that I had to be there again. Fast forward a few days and roommate says, "Hey, now I know whats different about that picture! You don't have tattoos in that pic." Revelations filled my head and I realized that I will NEVER look like that because I am NOT that person. I am different. I am more than TEN years in the future and I'm wasting fucking time looking back. I've done it all my life and for not another second will I do that; I'm moving forward. I'm reinventing myself in an image that is all new. The person I was didn't get me to my goals that I had set for myself by 40 (which I will be in a month, fuck!).

The memories are good for stories and to be used as examples. If we do not move forward, we are going in reverse. An old Shotokan Karate axiom says. "In order to maintain hot water, you must constantly add hot water.". This is profound to me and something I have always tried to follow. Maybe I didn't realize that he was saying just that - add WATER. Not hot oil. Not warm milk. Not whatever the fuck I thought was better than hot water.

Hopefully we all get what we want and we deserve to be happy. We also owe it to ourselves to be the best we can be, EVERY DAY. Service is an important aspect of life, but also, if you can't serve yourself, you will never have the capacity to serve others.

Behind the past is the need to move forward. Do it every day.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Immortals

Death is constantly knocking on the door of our lives - shit, I could stumble out of bed, hit my head and be dead! Rhyme every time! Ha! Anyway, the only promise in life is death. I have had this discussion with many members of my family (friends) and there's always one question; what happens after we die?

Me, I've pondered this question more than I should've over the years. I've often struggled with the fact that I don't believe in any afterlife, at least not in the way that many think of it. I don't believe that you go anywhere, but into the ground and become fertilizer. I do believe that there is something bigger than us, but I don't believe that it has anything to do with what the fuck we are doing on this planet.

Life, itself, is fleeting; as is everything to do with life. Love, hate, struggles, successes all can be gone or come in a second. I've experienced what people would say is a miracle, but also experienced the absolute antithesis of that; losing all. That insight, is enough to implant the thought into my head - how do I become immortal? Do I want to be immortal?

Bart and myself had this discussion and he maintained that he wanted to be immortal - I couldn't get on board. Being consciously immortal wouldn't be rewarding. You wouldn't live with any sense of urgency. Who cares if you get up that day or not, you've got ETERNITY. As I said before, just as everything is born, everything dies. But I truly believe that you can be immortal......

Being Immortal is as simple as making yourself UNFORGETTABLE. Make your mark. Be that person. It doesn't matter with who or with what, but to the people that matter, make sure that they will never forget you. They will pass it on. No one worth not forgetting will EVER be forsaken. For me, that's what life is about. Put that indelible mark on the consciousness of those that need it or mean that to you...........

Everyone I hold dear to my heart, to me, are the Immortals.